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Who Is Dick Squirts?

Dick is a character who really exists, and the antics and shenanigans that are reported here really have happened. No made-up stories, fantasies, or dreams told.

I have thought long and hard about creating this website and decided “what the heck, I’m gonna do it.”

So here goes, a no holes barred sex diary that you are gonna want to read.  It is frank, naughty, sexy, erotic and in places, might make you think, “I'll give that a go.”

So, if you don’t want to hear what I have to say, cover your ears… If you don’t want to see what I might show, cover your eyes… If you got nothing nice to say about my blog, then cover your mouth.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, yes I have changed the names of those I have had sex with, I mean it is only fair… I got to keep some secrets.

Testimonials

D.B. - Good looking masculine man with a very nice cock. Knows what he wants and delivers. He's a friendly chap too. Hope we can meet again.

BJ.Boy - We finally met after having chatted for a long time. Lovely person and nice big dick and knows what he wants. He has a lot of stamina and is super nice. Look forward to seeing him again.

S.E. - The bastard love child from a mash-up of The Archers and Emmerdale but wow such a sensory evening we had. Oozes sexual energy, attractiveness, sensual-ness and knows what he is doing. Kisses deeply and smells great too, a top guy in more ways than one who knew which buttons to press to make my body shudder. There's more, he is a proper repeater.

F.B. - Let me just say that he is a relaxed, reliable and all round stand up guy, he has an innate sexiness and passion that truly blew me away. We had an incredible session together that I really hope we can repeat!

S.S. - Enjoyed an amazing meet, I had read about him so had high expectations which I have to daub he far exceeded. After lots of passionate kissing, he proceeded to fuck my arse for three hours. His cock is big and thick however, he is a skilled top and ensures his bottom is comfortable. He pumped four loads deep inside my arse. I reckon he could easily have given me more! A true top and an absolutely lovely guy also, really hope I make it onto his list of regulars.

C.2000 - Everything about my meet was exactly what I was after. Good Kisser and a nice cock that gave me load after load. He literally doesn’t stop. For those who like a man with a lot of stamina, then this is the one for you. He would have carried on for hours if I had more time. He’s also great to talk to and a lovely decent guy.

T.B. - A great kisser is hard to find and I could not stop kissing this guy. Straight down to business which I like and he knows how to use a bottom. Different positions and he NEVER pulled out at any point, he loaded me, and started fucking me again. Four loads were gifted to me. Until next time fella.

SV.SW16 - What A Lovely Horny Meet! Horny Sex with passion! Fucked me deep. Beautiful cock! Great Kisser & tactile. Loved his hot creamy spunk shower! Highly recommended!

I.L.45 - This guy is not only a gentleman but also a very sensual lover. We met last week, and he was very attentive, thoughtful yet purposeful and straight to action, gives a very good rimming and a passionate thoughtful top. One definitely to repeat, you can’t say that about many top guys, one of the good guys.

L.N. - Great meet. On time and well ready for a good fuck session. Three fucks in quick succession and I thought I had stamina. Defo up for another meet soon.

F.G.40 - Nice cock know how to use it.

F.A.Q.

Suck It.

Q. I like to suck, but I don't want them to cum in my mouth. How do I let them know?

A. Tell them, verbally... with words. And if, 'don't cum in my mouth' is too harsh, try 'let me know when you're about to cum.'

Hookup.

If you've arranged a hookup online and the venue is going to be at theirs, know the entire address with postcode before you set off. The person is likely to be genuine if they divulge their address and that it will be their address if they know their postcode. Someone giving you a landmark or just a road name could be dangerous. Entrapment can happen this way. Someone with malicious intent may provide a door number but be waiting in a car and possibly not alone. This is why asking for a postcode can sometimes reduce this threat.
It is vital that you let someone else know the address that you're going to, if it's your first time there. This includes hotel names and room numbers.
It is not a good idea to meet someone in a public but private place, e.g., a park or car park. Totally public venues are good if you intend meeting for a drink first.
Unless you know the person well, decline any offer of a drink, better still… take your own. Never leave your drink unattended, even if you have to resort to taking it with you to the loo.

Spiked.
Never leave your drink unattended, including going to the loo. Always have it with you, don't put it down and turn your back.

Buying bottled drink with a screw lid is the safest but failing that, either pop your thumb over the bottle top or hold the glass from where you drink.

What's A Glory Hole?

A glory hole is a hole made in a thin wall or other type of partition where a man can insert their penis for sexual stimulation by an anonymous person on the other side.

Oral sex and hand jobs are the most common types of glory hole sex, though anal sex is also common.

If anyone covers the hole with toilet paper, they’re either straight or not interested… or both!

When To Cruise.

Q. Should I stay in my car once I get to the cruising ground?

A. Generally speaking, no. It's good code to get out and wander about as soon as you've parked. But only if you feel safe to do so. Be aware of your surroundings. If there is more than one person in another car, it could be trouble. That said, I've had plenty of experiences with couples who cruise together.

Don't Litter.

If you're practising safe sex with condoms and/or using tissues to clean up afterwards, you should always keep all areas clean and tidy and take your rubbish with you or dispose of it in bins, if there are any. This is one of the most popular causes of a complaint by other users of these grounds, typically ramblers, hikers, and dog walkers. It is only reasonable that they are not subjected to condoms and their wrappers and shitty tissues under their feet.

Workmen.

This is really for the workman… if you turn up to fix a pipe, check the electrics or decorate the landing etc., and the queer, whose house you're in, seems a little flirty but nervous that you're not gay or interested… but you realise there's a free blow job to completion in it… all you need to do is one of two things:

1) if you're wearing jeans or anything with a fly zip, undo it or

2) keep rubbing your cock and if you can, make an outline of it growing. That's all that's needed.
WARNING: if you've read this, and you are straight and definitely not interested; check your fly zip before ringing the doorbell and leave your cock alone whilst inside.

Cottaging. The Do's and Don'ts

Be aware of your exits as generally, toilets will only have one way in, which is also the only way out.
Standing at the urinal next to another guy who is not peeing, does not necessarily mean that he is there to cruise. He may be suffering from 'blushing kidney's syndrome' (not able to pee when someone else is present) or, worse, a straight guy looking for trouble and entrapping you into some activity to confirm that you're there for sex.
Put your mobile to silent. It's embarrassing and awkward if someone calls or texts. It could also be stolen from you in a mugging.

Fuck You.

Q. How do I let someone know that I want to be fucked?

A. After the initial approach and contact, lower your clothing and turn slightly to allow them to see and feel your arse. If they want to fuck, then it's normal for them to show their interest by touching and feeling around, or maybe turning your position more so that they are behind you. Those that don't want to do anal, will usually make it clear by gesturing or saying that they don't want to.

Wanna Do It.

Q. How do I know if someone is up for it?

A. There's no definitive answer. One of the lessons I've learned is to wait until they have shown you that they are there for the same reason. Reciprocate gestures. If they rub themselves or take their cock out, so should you. Keep a distance until you feel sure. If the person you're cruising has a hard-on, that is usually a good way of knowing that they want to see it through. If you smile and don't get a smile back... it is an alarm bell for me, so proceed with caution.

What Is Swaffling?

The act of slapping something with a semi-hard cock.

You tend to get this from someone who is curious, and they do this when they are undecided as to if they want to touch another man's cock.  From the mere fact they are doing it with a semi-hard cock, they are probably bisexual and have had very little man on man experience.

Flash Your Lights.

Q. Does flashing your lights (or hazard warning lights) at another vehicle indicate that you're there for sex?

A. No, it doesn't. It may have done in the 60s and 70s. And if you are flashed at, you could assume that they are indicating their interest, but go with caution, and I'm guessing, flash back first.

Gut Instinct.

Having a stranger in your home can be a very volatile situation if the person means harm or is a threat. They could be drunk or high on drugs, so establishing their interests is always a good idea. Know your own limits and make sure they know them too.
If at all possible, get a face photo of the person arriving and compare it when they are outside your home. Where possible, ensure that you are waiting for them and pay attention to how they arrived, if it was by car, that they are alone. Let someone else know the contact details of the person who is coming to your home.

Leaving the door on the latch and giving directions to finding you naked and blindfolded in another room has to carry the highest risk of all. This kind of scenario, ideally, should be reserved for secondary meets.

What's A Beat?

A Beat is a public toilet or public restroom where gay men congregate. The term is used by heterosexual men who are in fact confused homosexuals go to live out their sexual fantasies, or at least get close enough for a taste of them.